August harvest

Day 386

The month of August usually finds me challenging my own life. I grew up with August being the month of the county fairs, getting ready for school and harvesting crops- even if it was just our garden crops. We did not have financial abundance, there was always an undercurrent of fear and desperation. Pulling funds together for the fairs and school must have added to the unrest of the month.

August felt rushed, we were behind in life. A summer of projects turned and faced you with such disgust-what did you do this summer? August says this summer is almost over, did you live up to your potential? Another summer spent with nothing to show but the stress of a fleeting season.

I've lived in the city for nearly 20 years this winter. As a young girl I vividly remember vowing I would never live in the city I would always live in the country: open space, fresh air, animals, plants, new kittens each spring-freedom. Who am I now? The question is thick. You were never going to live in the city! 20 years, you are not longer a country girl but a city girl. Your farming roots are wilting on the vine.

As I read my own writing my heart screams back I am country I am not city. And yet here I sit in my kitchen writing in the heart of a City with 80,000 people surrounding me. No, this is not even a city but a suburb of Tacoma-Seattle. Uggh!!!! A suburb, not even a glamorous city. I have lived 20 years in a suburb. Oh what shame!!!!!!

This I know, you can take the girl out of the country but you can not take the love of country out of the girl. This path-this journey I am on is a journey of my heart. My heart has come back with a vengeance to remind me who I am. This 1000 day journey has become thorny.

Travel on,
Denise