I'm no longer a Farmer!

Day number 342

Can you believe it?  Almost a year has passed since I started this 1000 day journey.  I feel inspired to begin each day and to begin a new season.  There is something about the energy of Autumn that fires up my intuition and passion for life.  I love all the seasons but Autumn changes all the rules.

This week, my mom put up two bushels of corn, canned both peaches and pickles. Last night, my step mom picked 5 gallon of tomatoes.  The world is ripe and maybe that is how I feel- ripe.  Ripe for the picking, my year's growth is ready to be harvested.

Autumn is the season of harvest, of change and of the last burst of energy before winter's hibernation. The grass is golden, the bins are bursting with food, our planting is done!  Now we pack up for winter and celebrate.  This is how I feel- like celebrating the year's abundance.

How do you feel this time of year?  Some of my friends dread the coming of autumn because it also means our days will be shorter, darker and up here in the NW- much wetter.  I used to dread August until I realized there was nothing to dread.

  I come from a family of farmers, August was exhausting. August meant going to the fair, getting ready for school, finishing up anything that needed done from the year this month.  It was also when all the crops in the field and garden were ready to harvest.   My grandma dreaded August, My mom dreaded August and so I dreaded August until one day when I realized I was no longer a farmer. I live in the city. In Seattle, August is full of sunshine, warm weather and dry ground.  August is the driest month of the year!  It is wonderful Month.  It only took 40 some years to figure this out!

Maybe a more important question for us all is not how do you feel but why?  Dig deeper and you might just discover you too are no longer a farmer!!

Happy travels to you, may your path be filled with beauty and unexpected joys,
         Denise

Day 252 to thine own self be true

   Did I mention I was going to Scotland?  Well I did and I'm back home.  Today, I'm feeling the stress and wear from a trip overseas.  I plan to spend a day with gentle work, light cleaning and lots of tender loving care.

   I truly appreciate the wild and wonderful women I met on this journey to Iona Scotland.  I was inspired and in awe of their independence, confidence and presence.  Strong women who travel the world, creating waves in the sea.  Part of me wishes I was such a woman but in reality I'm most comfortable with the daily practice of loving each day.  I chose to explore the universe in a single atom, others explore the universe itself.  There is no right or wrong answer just lots of questions.  Which for me are best answered when I am rested, strong, healthy and grounded.

    It is good to get out of your comfort zone and as I heard in Scotland- take a gap from your normal life.  But no matter where you travel - or don't travel - it is still essential to stay within your own being, trusting the inner guidance of your essence.  Celebrate each other and yourself.

       To all my sisters I met amd traveled with on this journey- I wish you a happy, safe and inspired re-entry.

                 Denise

   

 

Wowed by the gift of everyday

Day 215 of 1000 days

  When you start realizing each day is truly a gift.  Something interesting starts to happen.  Each moment starts to be more valuable.  My days are feeling more like treasure hunts than a never ending treadmill of days blending into each other.  I have found the time I used to spend watching TV has almost become extinct.  Over the years, minimizing TV was often a goal.  Plans like, no more than 7 hours a week were my norm.  It was about giving up something- not adding something else.  Now I don't even think about TV I'm not even interested I'm busy living.

  As I start adding wonder and appreciation for each day, I find myself moving further and further away from things that were really just killing time.  If I'm tired I pause and sit down, or take a nap.  Sometimes I'm thirsty and that is why I'm tired, other times I'm hungry.  Filling my tired with mindless TV only further depletes my energy.  

Yesterday, I took a long nap in the afternoon.  Before my nap, I found myself wondering from project to project with no focus.  I hated to waste time by taking a nap....... After my nap, I was happier, had more energy and ended up spending most of the rest of the day outside in the yard.  The power of rest is a good healer.

My original plan on this 1000 day journey was to smile, write and run everyday.  As it turns out what I needed was to learn to listen to my inner voice, my mind, spirit, emotions and body.  I needed to learn to discover myself and discover the day as it unfolds in expected and unexpected bends and turns.

  Each day is truly a unique treasure that will never be duplicated.  At night I try to pause and think what my favorite blessings or moments of the day were. Yesterday it was:  Mowing my neighbors lawn,  making homemade chocolate( or maybe eating it was my favorite), and chatting with a friend on a morning walk.

  Maybe these feeling of gratitude and wonder are just a phase or part of the spring season but I truly hope that what I'm experiencing from this journey is how life really can be because it is amazing.

Wishing you great joy in discovering your own journey of each day!

       Denise

Composting life

Day 198 of 1000

What inspired me today?  What made me smile?  What kindness did I offer?  Did I say thank you?  Did I listen?  Was I heard?  Was my breath deep or was it shallow?  Did I savor this day or will it fall into the compost pile of days gone by?  I don't know.

With spring comes new life, beginnings and swift change.  I set new plans and goals.  Ideas spin webs of design though my head.  I eat peas and asparagus with grass fed hot dogs and an egg for dinner.  I watch a movie about food and then look at my writings from Aprils gone by.  Do you ever feel like you know all the answers?  And then do you feel like you know no answer to any question?  The second is how I feel tonight.

It's not that I'm without inspiration and creativity, it is more of a wondering question.  Am I on my right path, do these little ponderings and practices make a difference- in the long run or even today?  It is like the universe is within us, each of us.  At the same time it is like we are only a particle of dust within the universe.

I read a quote from Mother Theresa once and I'm not sure of the exact wording but it went something like this:
   We are only drops in the ocean, but the ocean would be so much less without those individual drops.

It is true an ocean is a collections of drops.  We all matter.  And yet we are all one ocean.  Maybe my contribution to this world matters more than I realize, maybe there are days I'm essential and other days I'm part of the compost pile.  Even a blade of grass in the compost pile matters. Without each ingredient there would be no black gold, no foundation of rich soil.

And so as I ramble on before heading off to bed this Saturday night, I pause and say thank you.  I don't know what matters most.  Before my grandma Ella passed away, she taught me a wise lesson.  All her life she took care of her belongings and did the right things.  But in the end what mattered most were her relationships.  Maybe it is our relationships that do matter most.

Tonight, I'm thankful for food, spring, books, family and friends.  I'm thankful for the wise women who have come before to clear our path.  I'm thankful for the little rain drops sitting on the leaf tonight as Sally and I went for a walk.  I'm thankful that I get to keep on trying, exploring and smiling.  And at the end of the day, I'm so very thankful that I have a warm and safe bed to sleep off the day and life compost.

Wishing you a beautiful journey,
        Denise

Your natural rhythm on and off sugar

# 196 of 1000

     After 196 days on this journey, it seems what I have let go of has been more important than what I have added.  One of my most significant reductions has been sugar.  The sweetness in life, turns out has a counterpart, an unruly distant cousin called sugar.

   I have a natural sweet tooth but I am learning to embrace my more savory side.  My sweet tooth has seen me through the ups and downs in life.  Or so I thought but what my sweet tooth has done was create those ungrounded ups and madding and often tearful downs.  This sugar induced rhythm isn't the natural rhythm I'm looking to discover on my 1000 journey.

  Before bed, I had a little bowl of petite baby peas lightly steams and tossed in garlic ghee.  It was pretty sweet the label gives it 4 grams of sugar.  The label also shows it also has 4 grams of protein and 4 grams of fiber.  It was both comforting and yummy.  I have been craving peas lately.  They are a good spring food for my spirit.  My skin seems to soak up its spring green color- chlorophyl and as funny as it sounds they make me happy.

   As I write this blog, it is the wee morning hours on a Friday.  Last night I went to sleep quickly but not instantly, there were a few minutes I could breathe in deeply and completely relax- 21 breaths.  And then this is the good part, I slept without any waking pauses until one minute before my alarm went off this morning.  I woke up to spring birds singing.  It almost sounds like a fairy tail.  But it was a real tail.  I reflected back on what I did last night that created such a lovely sleep and I remembered the peas!

4 grams of sugar is the equivalent of 1 teaspoon of sugar.  So if a label says it's product has 12 grams of sugar then this means you are consuming 3 teaspoons of sugars.  Labels are tricky little guys.  If you look on the ingredient list, sugar may not even be one of the top ingredients.  (You do read your labels right???)  But if you look a little deeper you may find sugar listed in a variety of ways.  Brown sugar, turbinado sugar, honey, high fructose corn syrup.....  this is a big list I believe there are something like 56 different sugars commonly listed.   Label reading has almost become a course in chemistry.  Keep it simple.

By keeping it simple, your life is not only greatly enhanced but also so so so much easier.  Like last night the ingredients in my little bowl of baby peas were three:  Peas, garlic-ghee.  And yes it did have 4 grams of sugar but those 4 grams are naturally occurring and surrounded by protein and fiber.  I am not a chemist nor a nutritionist but I can tell you this- 8 hours of uninterrupted, restful and delicious sleep, waking up before my alarm to birds singing and then being inspired to write is better than any sugar laden product out of a bag or box!

Giving up sugar is not easy, I understand this from the crumbs at the bottom of my cookie jar.  But and this is a huge BUT, the benefits to your spirit, your energy, your skin, your bright eyes, your deep restful sleep, your productivity, your immune system, your natural rhythm, your life are soooo worth the couple of days of cravings.

From my own experience, I can tell you this...giving up sugar is not a destination but a journey.  Some days will be like waking up after eating peas and some days will be trying to avoid the land mines of a family gathering.  Do not be hard on yourself, be kind on this journey.  Celebrate your successes, notice how your body, mind and spirit feel on and off sugar and then let your body tell you what to do.  This life of ours is a long journey.  Consider the impact of what sugar can do over a course of a lifetime.  And then consider what your life would be like following its natural rhythm and getting off the roller coaster of the sugar ride.

I wish you great joy on your journey.  And if you find yourself at a crossroad on your journey, try eating a little bowl of peas before bed!
        Denise




 

Spring question for your own journey

Day 182 of 1000 day journey

   Today is the first day of spring.  This is the season to set your goals and intent for the new year.  Traditionally we do this in January.  Energetically spring is the time for new beginnings and growth.

  So as this season was coming up, I had been pondering my goals for the new year.  This morning, even though it is really cold outside, I took off my shoes and went barefoot to pick up my dog Sally's poop, before the trash man came.  

   It was really cold outside, my feet only made it through half the yard before I caved and put on shoes.  As I danced around the back yard avoiding dog poop and trying to keep my toes warm, I thought of Nadine Star.  On her 90th or 95th birthday, she was asked by a reporter what she would do differently in her life if she had it to do all over again.   One of the items on her list was to go outside barefoot earlier in the spring.  

     My beautiful little niece, Marella, was born this week.  Yesterday she was three days old.  I thought to myself on her second day of life, what I would do different in my own life if I had the chance to do it all over again.  When Nadine star wrote her note she was in her 90's.  Thankfully I'm in my 40s and I get to enjoy some of my own wisdom.

   Between the birth of my new little beautiful niece, the first day of spring and my barefoot reminder of Nadine Star's list, I came in from the cold., put on warm socks and wrote my own list

And so if I had my life to do over again I would...

    I would lighten up my life a bit

    I would create more, dive into projects of passion and persist until they are completed

    I would pause everyday just to breathe deeper, listen quietly, relax and trust

    I would watch less TV and  have less mindless time sorting e-mails and surfing the internet

    I would listen more often with curiosity and an open mind

    I would dig in more dirt, paint more walls and have more documentary parties

   I would go on more walks with friends in new places

   I would save more and I when I did spend I would do so with gratitude and joyful confidence

   I would take more risks but I would worry less
   I would be kinder to myself and others remembering we are all doing our best

   I would spend time laughing and smiling not as a practice but because I'm just happy

   I would sing more, read out loud and dance more

   I would enjoy more inspired conversations
   I would be more thoughtful of others
    I would remember to celebrate my own imperfections and the beautiful imperfections of others
   I would eat with more gratitude, slowly, savoring each bite and stop asking others what I should eat
   I would be more mindful of my own words and thoughts

   I would remember to trust and relax knowing that we are indeed very blessed

   I would get up and do my morning yoga and set the intent of the day everyday!

   I would love each day and each season with a mindful passion

   I would Savor this life not by holding on and tightening up but by freeing up and embracing it!

  I would say yes a whole lot more
   I would fret less and pretend more

  I would listen to my own instincts and dive in with confidence

  I would fall into bed with more gratitude- giving myself time to reflect and wind down for the day

   I would stand taller, more confidently and with the essence of a lion

   I would ask more questions and pause my own brain so I can listen completely

   I would go outside everyday when the sun shines just to absorb the light

   I would go outside everyday when it rains just to breathe in the fresh air

   I would listen for the songs birds and notice the changes in weather and seasons

   I would remember to pause and come back to center and my own essence

   I would ask more questions, I would reflect more and I would trust my own heart a whole lot more.

   I would try to end each day with blessings and gratitude

 On this first day of spring.. I give you a challenge to create your own list.  And if this blog finds its way into your life on a day other than the first day of spring I recommend you write your list on that day!

Wishing you a a life of authentic and joyful expression

        Denise

Breathing and pondering...

#180 of a Thousand days

    Sally and I just returned from a refreshing early spring walk.  As we were walking I was pondering life, circles, snow flakes, ground hog day-the move, finger prints, days, weeks, seasons, spring, blossoms and breathing.  My mind was a blank- hahaha.

    My mind is rarely a blank.  Whose mind is blank anyway?  Why would you want a blank mind?  I like a relaxed mind, a creative, a interesting mind but blank- not so much.  Sometimes, usually at night after I meditate, my mind slows to an easy stroll.  I like my mind.  It is not for everyone and most likely another's mind would be uneasy living in my brain but I like it - it is home.

    As I ponder my journey of 1000 days, I forget to stop trying to fit my feet in another's shoes. This is a journey of my own spirit and soul.  My days will touch others, intermingling and then pausing to breathe but this journey will not be found in another's brain.  Today, there were two books that looks so interesting one on radical healing and the other on a journey to build schools.  Maybe my answers to this life are in those books?!!!

   My answers are in breath, in the flowers, in the wind.  My answers are in the questions and pauses.  As I breathe, I remember to pause. As I pause, I remember to relax.  As I relax, I remember to listen.  As I listen, I remember to smile.  As I smile, my breathe deepens, my mind comes back to present.  It is in the present, this moment this is where my journey begins and ends.

   I like my mind.  I like journeys.  I like spring.  And I like it when I remember to pause and come back to my center to find what I'm looking for.

   Wishing you all a happy early beginning to spring and a deep breath of now.
              Denise

 

 

Mildfulness and the art of Wednesday

Day 174 of 1000 day journey,
    And as the rhythm of the days continue it becomes clear my journey is less about running and smiling and writing and more about being mindful, connected and present.  It seems breathing, listening and relaxing are most helpful. This morning as I make my breakfast I pause to check in with myself and ask what my body would like or need.  Less is usually more and I make myself a plate of fresh raspberries over fresh cucumbers and a cup of peppermint tea.  The raspberries are so beautiful nestled in with the spring green cucumbers, it makes me smile and I take a picture.
   Today is Wednesday.  Governed by the planet Mercury and associated with our throat Chakra.  The energy of the day is connection and communication.  Wednesdays are a good day to write, learn and communicate with others.  I would guess the sense most associated with Wednesday would be our sense of listening.  Listening to others and to ourselves.
   It helps me to have a gentle reminder and trigger to remind me to be mindful of the rhythm of the day and of my life.  As I connect with a meaning associated with a day of the week, it gives me an insight into the day and a moment to pause and connect with my own essence.
   As I get ready to move into the office for a day's work, I can take this energy and calmness into my work.  Pausing and listening as I clear my inbox and then pausing again as I work on my day's project.  Remembering that today is not a race to rush through but a day to savor and be thankful for.
   And so I wish you a kindness of your Wednesday as well.  May you breathe deeply, smile bright, eat mindfully and connect with the world around you. It looks like it is going to be sunny and beautiful outside- spring is in the air.
      Happy travels on your journey of a single day,
              Denise

Jogging out- Walking home

Day 155 of 1000
  This afternoon the rain let up.  It was pretty warm outside and I love to run so out we, me and my dog Sally. We headed out for a 5 miler.  Our 5 miler turned into a 6 miler, the rhythmic steps were feeling good for my brain I wanted the day to last.  We would jog and then walk, jog and walk until my calf said no more jogging and then we walked home.
   Walking takes more time than running does.  I see more when I walk.  I see a lot more when I stand still.  I'm not thrilled that I couldn't keep running today, but maybe it was for the best. There was more time to ponder and see.  Learning not to judge my body is more of a skill than my natural response.
    Maybe what is on my to do list for 1000 days isn't what my heart really wants or needs.  Today I walked, tomorrow maybe if I'm lucky I will get to walk again.  Even if I could only go outside and stand- wouldn't it still be a gift?
   Learning not to judge but to wonder and appreciate what shows up has magic.
         Wishing you a day filled with wonder and unexpected blessings.
                  Denise

Pausing and listening

Day 116

   Happy new year to you.  If you were wondering where I went, no worries I was taking care of a sore shoulder.  Sometimes your body knows best.  When I listen to it, I do better.  When I press beyond and past its wisdom, I usually wish I had just paused and listened.

   Pausing from writing during my 1000 day journey was not part of the plan.  But when I paused and let go, good things started pouring in.  Having a goal is powerful and wonderful, but also having the insight to pause and listen is even more so. 

   Did I stop writing during my healing up break?  No, before bed I have been writing myself a little note and asking myself a question.   I love getting up in the morning feeling like I have answers to life's little questions.

   While healing up my shoulder I have continued to play with a Paleo type lifestyle.   It seems my body does better on lots of veggies, healthy proteins, nuts and seeds - sugar, grains, caffeine and even chocolate- not so much.

  This move to more animal based foods has been tough.  I grew up eating this way. (I was raised on a beef farm and huge garden)  But as I got older and more aware, I tried to adopt a more vegetarian type diet. I so wanted to be a vegetarian, it seems well.. so nice!  But my body, once again, gave me solid and consistent hints that the nice way wasn't the best way for me. 

   I'm loving 2014.   So far, the theme for the year seems to be:  pause, listen and trust!  Letting go isn't easy but when you do life gives back in abundance!

Wishing you all abundance and ease in your life,
               Denise