Composting life

Day 198 of 1000

What inspired me today?  What made me smile?  What kindness did I offer?  Did I say thank you?  Did I listen?  Was I heard?  Was my breath deep or was it shallow?  Did I savor this day or will it fall into the compost pile of days gone by?  I don't know.

With spring comes new life, beginnings and swift change.  I set new plans and goals.  Ideas spin webs of design though my head.  I eat peas and asparagus with grass fed hot dogs and an egg for dinner.  I watch a movie about food and then look at my writings from Aprils gone by.  Do you ever feel like you know all the answers?  And then do you feel like you know no answer to any question?  The second is how I feel tonight.

It's not that I'm without inspiration and creativity, it is more of a wondering question.  Am I on my right path, do these little ponderings and practices make a difference- in the long run or even today?  It is like the universe is within us, each of us.  At the same time it is like we are only a particle of dust within the universe.

I read a quote from Mother Theresa once and I'm not sure of the exact wording but it went something like this:
   We are only drops in the ocean, but the ocean would be so much less without those individual drops.

It is true an ocean is a collections of drops.  We all matter.  And yet we are all one ocean.  Maybe my contribution to this world matters more than I realize, maybe there are days I'm essential and other days I'm part of the compost pile.  Even a blade of grass in the compost pile matters. Without each ingredient there would be no black gold, no foundation of rich soil.

And so as I ramble on before heading off to bed this Saturday night, I pause and say thank you.  I don't know what matters most.  Before my grandma Ella passed away, she taught me a wise lesson.  All her life she took care of her belongings and did the right things.  But in the end what mattered most were her relationships.  Maybe it is our relationships that do matter most.

Tonight, I'm thankful for food, spring, books, family and friends.  I'm thankful for the wise women who have come before to clear our path.  I'm thankful for the little rain drops sitting on the leaf tonight as Sally and I went for a walk.  I'm thankful that I get to keep on trying, exploring and smiling.  And at the end of the day, I'm so very thankful that I have a warm and safe bed to sleep off the day and life compost.

Wishing you a beautiful journey,
        Denise