Pulling weeds

Day 375

This past week I was troubled with a dizzying problem. I was dizzy. Today, I'm feeling a bit stronger, still a little wobbly but my desire to get back into the flow of things has definitely taken a turn for the better. My husband had me use his allergy spray, which seemed to help a great deal and I decided to go outside and putter in my yard.

While I was pulling weeds I was still wobbly but my focus was on something so specific it didn't seem to bother me as much. Just being outside, digging in the dirt and accomplishing something did me a world of good. While digging I came across my one of my yams in full bloom. Planted months ago, I had nearly given up on an actual yam crop, but there in all its trumpet like beauty was a little yam flower.

This morning for the first time in a quite some time I felt a little flow, a little energy and a little desire to have a good day. Whatever troubled my head seemed to have depressed my system as well. If you have ever been consumed with bleakness you will understand the anguish of depression.

I remembered a lesson I learned years ago when I was on my walking journey- move, go outside and move! Being outside moving was like light to my soul. When I was little my mom used to tell me to go outside and get the stink blown off. She was onto something. I don't know if it was the nasal spray or an afternoon pulling weeds, probably a combo, but what ever it was I felt like a new person after digging in the dirt for a bit.

This very problem is why I'm am so compelled to find joy. It is the opposite of despair. My theory is: If your are listening to your heart, following your own loves, your life will be one to savor and enjoy. Where there is light, darkness can't live.

This is easier said than done, I'm finding the very act of staring too closely at my own happiness makes it illusive. Learning to listen to my intuition, my gut, my heart is harder than it sounds. Still it is a path I will continue, although I may have to pull more weeds than I planned.

Tavel on,
Denise

Just so you know, I did go to the doctor early last week. However, the weeds and sunshine seemed to have helped 10x more than a trip to the doctor.